In our Life Coach Training Course, from the start, we tell you what coaching is and what coaching is not.
I talk to people literally every day who want to enroll in our school who are great advice givers and think that’s what being a great coach is.
They are a bit shocked to find out that we as coaches are not in an advising role in a client’s life at all. We’re not paid to be experts. We’re not here to fix people, give wisdom, or plan any steps for them.
We are in a partnership. It’s a supportive relationship where we help our client get what they want based on their own solutions. We’re catalysts. We’re change agents. And we hold them accountable.
But even though we know – up here in our noggins – what the difference is, early on, it’s very difficult to remain in coaching mode. And that’s because our mode of operation our entire lives is to give people advice, give people solutions, fix things, etc.
That means that we have to be intentional about forming the new habit of asking probing questions, not being afraid of silence, trusting that people can solve their own problems, and not feeling the need to take control.
So for beginner coaches (and even some of you more experienced coaches), here’s a great discipline to create new habits and make sure you keep your coaching hat on:
THE TWO SENTENCE RULE
The next time you coach someone, follow this simple rule:
Only speak two sentences at a time, and make sure the second sentence is a question.
Does that sound difficult? It’s not, but you might find it challenging at first.
If you keep this rule, you’ll find that the focus will stay off you and your own ideas but will remain centered on the client. You won’t have to spend so much time unlearning counseling. You’ll retrain your brain based on this new framework. You’ll listen intently, and you’ll dial in what feedback you provide. And you’ll follow that feedback with a brilliant question.
You’ll streamline your coaching sessions and get to solutions much more quickly. What’s more is that you’ll be perceived as much more empowering, trustworthy, and likeable. And that creates a long-term coaching relationship that will get referrals.
Try it out and let me know how it goes!
P.S. We love hearing from you! Please send me an email and let me know how you’re doing, and how LCTI can support your next bold step forward!
Paul Dabdoub is a master coach trainer & mentor, speaker, writer, and entrepreneur, and an executive coach who’s literally helped 1000’s of people take practical steps towards their future.
Paul is the founder of Life Coach Training Institute - the largest life coach training school in North America and the #1 life coach certification online program.